40+ Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Kind of Funny

This joke probably wasn’t said to an actual waitress in an actual restaurant. But from us to you, please don’t ever actually do this to someone in the service industry. Even if they laugh, we promise you that all you’ve done is hurt them.

It’s hard enough to pretend you like customers as it is; the last thing you need to do is hit them with a terrible dad joke that they have to pretend to like. Be aware, and have a heart. They’ll like you a little more that way.

The thing about dad jokes that are just a play on words is that pronunciation and accent may ruin the whole thing. Depending on how you say something, the joke might stop making any sense at all.

But hey, as long as someone gets it, right? If you’re wondering how else someone could say jalapeño, consider this: if you said it in a way that makes this joke sensible, you’re probably the one saying it wrong in the first place.

Many dad jokes are totally dependent on wordplay, but the problem with jokes like that is the fact that they only work if someone uses a specific pronunciation. But, if you’re the one telling the joke, you can always ensure that it’s said right.

With this joke, you should be able to understand what is being hinted at quite easily. Indeed, what would a hybrid of all of these animals be called? Most of us would probably have no idea what the right answer would be.

Some puns require you to jump through a few hoops in order for them to make sense. Other puns, not so much. In fact, anyone who’s unable to get this joke about cells and cell phones has a serious problem. But hey, some dad jokes are simplistic.

Is a dad joke better or worse if it’s simple? Are you more likely to groan when you hear such a joke, or would you prefer a short and sweet one? In our opinion, there are terrible dad jokes on both ends of the spectrum.

We guarantee that you’ve heard this terrible joke involving Kleenex or tissue at least once in your life. We don’t know who first came up with this joke, but we do know that it’s been around for a pretty long time.

It’s at least been ten years since we first heard it, and let’s be honest, it’s just as terrible now as it was back then. It’s like an entry-level dad joke. Everyone knows it, but everyone should move beyond it at some point.

We all know that dad jokes love to take things literally. Whether or not it’s actually funny tends to be up to the individual. This joke about bookmarks exists in the same vein as “hi, I’m Dad” type jokes.

Another classic, to be sure, but really, being a classic just means that something is old. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s good. Some people are going to like it, and some people are going to think it’s average or just bad.

Greece and grease sound the same. That is the crux of this entire joke. Admittedly, the play on words is kind of amusing and very fitting for a dad joke. That said, hopefully, everyone knows that French Fries were actually made in America.

Of course, facts aren’t an important part of jokes, but you just know that someone who has that knowledge would go out of their way to mention this. People who know the truth often can’t help but correct others when it’s relevant.

At this point, we have to wonder how many dad jokes aren’t actually reliant on wordplay. Are all wordplay jokes automatically dad jokes now? Is it the level of cleverness that sets apart a dad joke from other jokes? This joke actually is pretty clever.

Speaking of which, remember when you may have actually been upset at the notion of taking a nap? It’s kind of funny, because these days, most of us would never frown on the chance to take a nap if we could manage it.

Okay, we have to admit, this joke is actually really funny, and almost too clever to really be considered a true dad joke. Of course, it’s still pretty hammy, but it actually got a chortle out of us instead of a cringe. That’s rare for a dad joke!

We suppose this is an ideal dad joke, with its ability to be so bad that it almost comes full circle back to being good. Those are the best types of dad jokes because even if you acknowledge that they’re corny, you can’t really hate them.

If you put water below freezing point, then it’s just ice. But if you put it above that temperature, it’s just water. Is this even a joke, or is it actually just a statement about temperature and physics? Maybe a little bit of both.

This joke is definitely more cringe-worthy than the last one: it’s a joke no self-respecting person would make, but then again, are dads really self-respecting when it comes to humor? We guess that comes with age too.

Ah, math jokes. They aren’t necessarily dad jokes, but notice how they’re pretty much all just as corny as dad jokes are. At the very least, both types of jokes are cousins to one another.

Why does this joke in particular remind us of those terrible math worksheets we had to do in elementary school? The ones that always tried to make math seem more fun than it actually is? Talk about bad memories.

English is an odd language that has a lot of silent letters in it. When looking for great examples of this phenomenon, pterodactyl is a great choice, because a lot of people know about it. That makes it perfect for a joke about silent Ps.

Some dad jokes are inherently low-brow, and this is definitely one of them. But we suppose there’s nothing actually wrong with that. Some people frown on dirty humor, but this is low-level kid stuff; it’s not really vulgar.

Most people don’t actually like spring since it heralds the arrival of allergies and whatnot, but at the same time, it at least opens the way for some really corny dad jokes. Naturally, that includes this one about wetting plants.

We don’t think anyone could miss the implication being made here. It’s kind of kid humor, but some dad jokes just tend to swing that way. Besides, we’re sure plenty of adults would still find it funny.

How many dad jokes require you to take something literally even though you know it wasn’t meant that way? Definitely a lot of them, and that includes this joke about putting milk in a bag.

We doubt the cashier would find this very funny. If anything, they would probably just look at you like you’re crazy, with a stone-cold poker face. Can you blame them, though? They deal with enough crap on a daily basis as it is.

We’ve hit the point where just stating the truth is in and of itself a dad joke, as long as you word it correctly. If you’ve never seen the flag of Switzerland before, it is, in fact, a giant plus sign.

Of course, you could argue that this is actually a bad aspect of Switzerland if you thought the design was kind of boring. Then again, most flag designs aren’t actually that unique, if you start looking around the world at all of them.

If you want to be a nerd about it, this is one of those dad jokes you can pretend isn’t even a joke. Sure, it’s supposed to be a pun, but it’s also just the actual truth if you think about it. Bikes can’t stand up on their own because they have two tires.

Well, maybe if the two tires were situated differently it wouldn’t matter, but with how bikes are designed, it does. If you ever want to counter a bad dad joke, just get really realistic with it and kill the mood.

We’re not sure what actually draws the line between a bad dad joke and a dad joke that is so bad it’s actually good. But in our opinion, this joke about cows is the latter, somehow. It’s hard to say why, exactly, but that’s just the feeling we get.

We suppose the difference is whether or not you cringe and chuckle or just cringe. But then, everyone has a different sense of humor, so it’s not like even that is universal, is it?

If there’s going to be a joke about calendars, dad joke or not, we all know that it’s going to involve days, dates, or something similar. Naturally, that happens to be the case with this dad joke.

More importantly, we have to wonder if a calendar factory is actually a thing. Like, where are calendars made? Surely there aren’t entire factories dedicated to making something like that, right? After all, how many people even use calendars these days?

There are actually more animals out there capable of laughing than you might realize. However, we’re fairly certain that an octopus doesn’t fall into that category. The idea of such a creature laughing is actually kind of disturbing.

On the other hand, The Laughing Octopus sounds like it would be a really good name for a store or a seafood restaurant. We wouldn’t be surprised if there was already an establishment with that name somewhere out there.

When an animal has a name that sounds a lot like other ordinary words, you know for a fact that it’s going to get a relevant pun at some point. We’re sure there’ve been dozens, if not hundreds, of jokes about bison and “bye, son” over the years.

After all, you can’t help but hear it, so it’s no wonder it’s become such a popular joke. That said, most of us have the restraint to avoid making such terrible jokes. Unfortunately, dads rarely possess that restraint.

Shellfish and selfish sound very similar, and thus is the root of many jokes about the selfish nature of various types of shellfish. We’re going to be honest, we weren’t sure if crabs were actually shellfish or crustaceans, but it turns out they’re both.

It just seems weird to refer to something that doesn’t have fins as a fish. Why can’t we just refer to crabs as delicious? That’s more than accurate enough, isn’t it?

We don’t know why cows are the butt of so many jokes, but they certainly seem to be. That said, we actually think this dad joke about cows and beef is pretty clever, and we can’t bring ourselves to dislike it.

But if you have a word for a cow with two legs and a word for cows with no legs, what would you call a cow with three legs? Maybe they would also be lean beef? Or just unhappy beef, probably.

Because English is funny like that, asking if you got a haircut could be interpreted as asking if someone got one singular hair cut instead of their collective “hair.” Of course, English speakers usually know what the purpose of this question is.

But hey, if you wanted to apply logic and reason, you wouldn’t have dad jokes in the first place, right? You generally have to get pretty ridiculous to make dad jokes work, and this is no exception.

“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” is a phrase most of us just heard in our heads right now, in the exact tone of voice it was used for all of those Life Alert commercials. But if you had the same commercial for horses, what would be said?

Well, this terrible dad joke has answered that question for you. We’re sure that was something you were just dying to know ever since you first watched those commercials, so you’re welcome.

Unsurprisingly, our pets are often the subject of jokes (both good and bad ones) — after all, those little fluff balls are already pretty funny on their own, so it’s only natural to add to that. This dad joke, though, decided that combining music and pets would be even funnier for some reason.

Sure, trumpets are pretty loud. But are they really the loudest thing you can get? Have you ever heard a large dog bark? That sound carries across the world! Plus, when it comes to instruments, drums are a lot better at making tons of annoying noise.

For those who don’t know, a 747 is a type of airliner that anyone who has flown before has probably ridden. It was manufactured by the company Boeing; hence this joke about the noise a 747 makes when it bounces.

In real life, you’d better hope your 747 doesn’t make that noise. In fact, you’d better hope the plane doesn’t bounce in the first place because that’s usually not a good sign. At worst, it means that it was one tough landing.

Remember, not terribly long ago, when eating Tide pods was a popular thing to do online? Yeah, we don’t know why anyone thought putting toxic stuff in your mouth was a good idea. But hey, some people are just pretty dumb.

The joke is a funny play on words, but at the same time, it’s actually just true. We don’t recall nearly as many women participating in that trend as we do men. And people wonder why women tend to live longer…

We have to wonder if a typical idea of a circus actually even exists in the real world now. Are there actually physical circuses you can go to that involve the big striped tents and all that? Either way, a fire in one of those would be bad.

And, of course, it would be in-tents, so to speak. Though if the tent caught on fire, it would be out of tents at some point too. And then it would just be everywhere.

If you don’t do much in the way of special exercises, you may not even know what a lunge is. Well, simply put, it involves taking really big steps and all that. So, if you were doing a lunge, you could say that it is a big step forward.

That’s the joke in its entirety. Sorry that you had to read it twice, but a joke isn’t any good at all if you don’t get it, so we wanted to be extra sure everyone knew what was up.

We’re fairly certain that the only reason golf is popular is that a bunch of dads get into it after they hit a certain age. Like, how many young people play golf? We know that some do, but there definitely aren’t that many.

But most everyone knows what a hole-in-one is, so we can all get this joke, at the very least. This is definitely a dad joke more on the cringe side of things, but at the very least, it’s not the worst joke we’ve ever heard.

The stereotypical idea of a lumberjack probably doesn’t even exist anymore, but we can still provide jokes about it. Lumberjacks make logs, and if you keep a record of things, that’s also called a log. Hence, this joke.

Why is this one less cringe than the one before it? We’re not sure. Every person has to come up with their own definition for bad and so bad they’re good dad jokes. What do you think about this one?

At least this joke acknowledges that it’s terrible in its own punchline. Most jokes told by a dad tend to be less than self-aware, and they act as though they’re actually funny. This one at least has some self-respect.

That doesn’t really make it a better joke, but we at least have to respect it for that. You almost can’t even get mad at a bad joke that acknowledges that it’s bad. After all, it was upfront about what it was offering.

When it comes to cars, there’s often a bit of confusion for some people about the difference between a coupe and a sedan. Unfortunately, you have to know the difference if you want to actually get this joke. Basically, it comes down to the number of doors.

Two doors for a coupe, and four for a sedan. Hence, this dad joke. We suppose it’s kind of clever, but even so, it still makes us roll our eyes. That’s kind of just how these things are.

This joke may fly over your head at first, depending on where you live. A cheese toastie is pretty much just a grilled cheese sandwich, but British. With that info in mind, we’re sure you can understand the logic behind this joke here.

It’s a pun, as these things often are. It’s not a super advanced pun either, so it mostly just makes us groan. But to each their own: we bet at least one of you reading this thought it was unironically hilarious.

Honestly, we’re not sure if this one should even count as a dad joke. It’s actually very clever. So clever, in fact, that if someone told it to you verbally, you’d be unlikely to get it right away. It’s almost a legitimate joke in our eyes.

Sure, it’s still a wordplay joke, but it’s a pretty advanced one, so we want to give it a pass in that regard. Still a dad joke, but definitely about as good as dad jokes tend to be.

Here’s another dad joke that requires some slight car knowledge to get. If you don’t know what a muffler is, it goes on the car’s exhaust pipe, hence this wordplay joke you’re about to look at. That’s really all you need to know about it.

It’s a pretty bad joke, obviously. A lot of dad jokes are. But this probably competes with the top spot for one of the worst. Maybe everyone should comment on their favorite and least favorite dad joke on this list.

If you can make a dad joke that’s a pun, good. If you can make one with wordplay, better. If you can make one that’s just a funny way of telling the truth, that’s arguably the best you can do as a dad. Top-tier dad energy, right there.

Lifesavers come in a lot of different flavors now, but we’re pretty sure they were originally mints and mints alone. So it’s quite accurate to say that the inventor of Lifesavers made a mint.

If you’ve ever been even remotely close to the countryside, then you probably know that hay bales tend to be cylindrical in shape. There’re a lot of reasons for that, but we aren’t going to go into them. After all, the joke only needs you to acknowledge that they aren’t squares.

And indeed, they’re not. So, we suppose you could say that cows don’t get a square meal when they’re eating hay. Can you imagine how weird it would look to see literal blocks of hay out in those fields, though?

There are many, many types of cheese out there, and most of them have pretty funny names. If you’re somewhat clever, you could probably find a way to make a joke out of those various cheese names, including provolone.

This joke isn’t really that clever, and it definitely errs more on the side of a shaken head and a roll of the eyes, but not every dad joke is up to par with the good stuff. Still, corny jokes have their place as well.

Honestly, we wouldn’t be surprised if a bunch of people didn’t even get this joke simply because the word “fortnite” is synonymous with a game now, and is rarely ever used with its original meaning any longer.

Why is the game called Fortnite anyway? We’re pretty sure it doesn’t actually have anything to do with two weeks specifically. But we’ill admit, we don’t know the lore (if there is any), so maybe the name makes sense somewhere.

If you’ve never seen a Clydesdale before, you may not know that they’re absolutely massive horses. Probably one of the largest horses out there. Seriously, they’re gargantuan. If you’ve seen one before, this joke should make plenty of sense to you.

Ironically though, almost any other horse is little compared to a Clydesdale, so it’s not like you would even need to mention a pony specifically for the joke to add up and make sense.

Some dad jokes are just about telling the truth in a funny way. Such is the case here, where a dad claims he was named after this important historical figure. That may sound wrong on the surface, but it’s actually not, is it?

If you think about it, we were all named after him. Congratulations, we can now all make use of this dad joke whenever we want! How nice it is to have a joke that we can all use. It’s not just a dad joke — it’s our joke.

We promise that some of the jokes on this list are actually good. However, this is probably not one of them. Well, we didn’t want to spoil you right out of the gate. The joke makes sense, but man, does it make us cringe.

Speaking of college-aged vampires, it must be hard to wardrobe shop when you have existed for hundreds or thousands of years. After all, everyone sticks to their phases in young adulthood, so what do you do in the far future when your style no longer exists?

As you probably know, dad jokes often carry themselves on their identity as puns. Some puns aren’t actually all that bad, and some are just outright terrible. Dad jokes tend to gravitate towards the latter, as we can see with this joke about Velcro.

What is it about getting older that makes one’s sense of humor like this? It’s almost universal, so there has to be some secret to it. Somebody needs to get some scientists to investigate this ASAP.

If you can’t make a joke with a play on words, you can’t be a father, simple as that. It’s an absolutely mandatory skill to have, far more important than being able to take care of or protect your family. Otherwise, you couldn’t make bad dad jokes like this one.

The sad part is, some people probably wouldn’t even understand this joke right away. Some people might even have to repeat it several times. Hopefully, you aren’t one of those people. If you are, we’re sorry.